~What I didn't Blog about & Backward Blogs~

I'm doing a lot of backwards blogging because I have quite a few unfinished blog posts. As well as, a lot of things I never got around to blogging about. I think I've figured out how to back post. But, some may still be out of order. Regardless, here are some things I didn't blog about in January :  

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• The Big Buffalo : Probably won't ever blog much about him @ all. He's extremely private. He does not support or agree with my blogging, Facebooking, &/or anything that involves him, us, &/or our family talking &/or posting anything about any of us anywhere outside of our little bubble. That being said, I've already said too much. But, it's my blog & I will accidentally blab if I want. So, maybe I'll work him in from time to time. But, if you know him & see him out & about, It's probably best not to mention that I mentioned him on this blog..
• The story behind "The Butterfly & Buffalo" : not sure when I'll get around to that one. My closest & former peeps, who know & get me, know it well. Not sure blogging about it will do it the justice it deserves. It's one of those "you kinda had to be there" stories. It's simple &  nothing really. But, it means everything to me.
• The Big Buffalo's New Job : Will definitely do a backwards blog post about it later. Because, it deserves a whole blog post. Regardless of #2.
• Lil B : Got a lot of catching up to do about my little Jungle Boy. He informed me that "Jungle Boy" is no longer an acceptable nickname for him & that I should remove it from this blog. Well...that's never gonna happen.....More about my Jungle Boy to come. 



~Bo on the Big Cheese~

• My 4 legged baby.......Bo is sooo obsessed with the Big Cheese. He wants to ride it so bad. He went missing one day & Big Buffalo went looking for him & found him on the bus. Here is the pic. Big Buffalo has to be very cautious not to open the door when Bo's around. Cause, he will jump right in. Sad thing is, Bo sits down & stays in his seat & behaves better than the school kids do...Bless his heart, he has no idea he's a dog & some days I'm not convinced myself. He sure acts like a person. 

• Apparently, I Am NOT Bringing Sexy Back : I have more facial hair & acne than both my teenage sons combined & I can grow a beard faster than my husband. If that's not jacked up enough for you; I STOPPED dieting. Just gave up & decided I would just be fat FOREVER or at least until Jesus returns. Hopefully, he will take me with him where it won't matter. In the mean time, I LOST 10 Lbs while NOT dieting. Yeah for me, Right? NOT..It motivated me to loose more. So, I started dieting again & Guess what? I GAINED IT ALL BACK..So, I tried the "anti-diet" again & still no wt loss & yes, all my nurse friends, I did have my thyroid checked & ever other test done & nothing came of it except a BIG FAT Dr visit & Lab bill. So now, I have some medical bills to pay. Because, my hairy, pimply, fat self went to the doctor so I could pay him to tell me that NOTHING medically is wrong with me; Turns out, I'm just FAT, PIMPLY, & HAIRY.....
• WORK SUCKS :   Things haven't been quite the same @ my Job lately...It's had me thinking about going back to school. Or......Something, I don't know. It just really sucks. That's NOT all I have to say about that. That's just all I CAN say about that..          

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~ BigB, The Time Capsule, Old Cigar Box, & A Big Piece of Momma's Heart ~

Yesterday BigB & MB were about to leave for FPC. BigB comes @ me with an old cigar box & piece of paper & tells me it's a "Time Capsule" project due tomorrow. He hands me the paper, detailing the assignment. Just a brief rundown :  6 categories (your family, high school, town, past, present, & future), at least 6 personal items (1 for each category), a letter (for who discovers the capsule) explain each item, why you put it in the capsule, it's meaning to you; tell about your family, town, & high school experience, & what they mean to you; future dreams or plans, you get the point... Of course, I blew up @ him for waiting til Sun to start a project that was due Monday. Anyway, he had already put 6 items in the capsule. Me : "What capsule? That old, raggedy cigar box?" BigB : "I found it @ Bebe's. It will be cool". (Bebe's my late grandmother & very dear to my heart). Me : "Whatever, it's your project". All he had left was the letter. He asked if I would help him when he got back from church later. I quickly got over my anger (I love this boy & this kind of project). I peeked in the box & saw our family Christmas card (he asked me for the other day & I thought he was joking) & few other items he had in there. I was surprised & pleased to see he had paid attention to the instructions & put some thought into it. 4 hours later he & MB come dragging in an hour late (hard to get pissed @ your kids for spending too much time @ church). I told him he would have to write the letter by himself, leave it up on the laptop, & I would  proof read & print it in the morning (b/c @ this point I'm now delirious from staying up for 30 hours straight after working all night Sat). I gave him a few ideas for the letter & left him to it. The next morning I sat down to proof read it (which is a joke, b/c he can use spell check & I don't have a clue about grammar or where to put commas & crap). I should have sat down with a box of Kleenex instead of a cup of coffee. I had no clue. ManChild #1 was about to take a HUGE piece of my heart to CHS in a raggedy old cigar box.


January 30, 2012
Dear older, very handsome, distinguished, & established self,
  I am writing you this letter to remind you of how great you had it growing up (actually it's part of an assignment for class). I have strategically placed it in a sealed time capsule (old cigar box I found in my great grandmother, Bebe's garage). I have enclosed some significant personal items and will explain what they mean to me. The time capsule is to remain sealed until I am grown with children or grandchildren of my own. So, when my kids or grand kids ask what it was like when I was growing up, I can show them. In the event that my life is tragically cut short, my little brothers John Paul and Jack can open the time capsule with their kids and show them how awesome their oldest brother "Big Bennett" was.
  I am a 16 year old sophomore at CHS. They call me "Big Bennett". I don't talk much. Cause, the size says it all. High school so far has been awesome! (except for the fact that I hate school). Momma always says: "hate is a strong word". So, I'll just say I strongly dislike school. (Because, I know she's gonna proof read this). By the way, did I mention my momma is the world's best momma? She's all into family traditions and making homemade stuff (scarves, hats, cupcakes, big country boys like me, you name it). She's always taking pictures of me and my two younger brothers no matter what we are doing. She gets all mad and starts screaming when we won't cooperate. My brothers and I could be covered in dirt and blood because, we just barely escaped a zombie attack (like in the best TV series of this era "The Walking Dead") and my momma (still snapping pictures despite the zombie apocalypse) would be yelling: "Now, put your arms around your brother & please just smile and act like you like each other! This would make the perfect Christmas card picture!" Every Christmas she makes a family Christmas card, puts a picture of our family on it, and snail mails them to all of our family and friends. This past Christmas she was freaking out. It was two weeks before Christmas and she said she didn't have a family photo of all of us (that was Christmas card worthy). She ended up making a really cool card, anyway. Her favorite movie is The Sound of Music and she loves that song in it about "a few of my favorite things". She put pictures of my brothers and I doing our favorite things and she made up her own lyrics about some of our family's favorite things. It's a really cool poem about my family and all of our favorite things. She had some cards left over from Christmas. I told her to address one to me and that I was sending it to my future self. Then she started quoting some old 80's movie. She said something about Marty Mcfly and needing 1.21 gigawatts to travel back to the future. That's another thing about my family. We love all kinds of movies and movie quotes. We try to impress each other by using movie quotes every chance we get. Then she said "never mind, you won't have a future if your grades don't get better". So, I hope I get a good grade on this project. I put the family Christmas card in the time capsule with one of the stamps she bought at the post office. I don't know if stamps and post office's will still be around when I have kids. Thought it would be cool to show them.
  Since, my family and I are big on movies, I also included a movie ticket stub from the last movie we went to see: The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 1. It's currently one of the most popular movies out right now. I'm not a die hard Twilight fan. But, if i had to pick a team, I would probably pick team Jacob. I like to root for the underdog (he technically is part dog) and I can relate to him. He lives out in the country, likes to go around without a shirt on, has a cool suntan, a leather jacket, a motorcycle, and big muscles. Well, that's enough about me. Back to the movie, every living female on the planet says this movie is epic. I'm not sure that I agree. But, my momma didn't want to go see it by herself. So, we went with her. Plus, my daddy said the theater would be be packed full of girls (and he was right). 
  Also, I thought it would be cool to put my first cell phone in the time capsule. I got it a few years ago when I was in 7th grade. It's like a dinosaur compared to the one I have now. I charged it before I put it in here. I hope it will still power on. It still has some old pictures and favorite music from my past on it. I had my all time favorite song "Red Dirt Road" by Brooks and Dunn set as my first ring back tone. It's this guy singing about growing up in the country and what it means to him now. Part of high school is trying to fit in. I have a lot of friends. I'm on the football team and I like to go and hang out with the youth group at church in town. But, that's not where I fit in. Everybody says I'm just like my daddy and he's just a good ole country boy. When we are leaving the city or our town he always says "Come on son. Let's get outta here and get back to God's country". That's what he calls our home. The best part of growing up in the country for me is going down the same dirt roads and playing in the same river bottoms as my daddy and his daddy did. Lucky for country boys like me, Jason Aldean's "Dirt Road Anthem" was a top ten hit last year, making growing up in the country or a small town sound cool. That old phone may no longer be cool. But, I sure have some cool memories from my past on it.
  Another cool thing about growing up in the country and my hometown, is Friday night lights. Kenny Chesney had a recent hit songs about it: "The Boys of Fall". The lyrics to that song describe my hometown perfectly and what it's like for boys like me to be on the high school football team. My dad saved the sports section from our town paper, The Covington Leader, and I put it in the capsule. You might be laughing and thinking that's small town news. Some may say it is stupid for the whole town to make such a big deal about a high school football game and that when you grow up it won't matter. But, in my town, it's not just about the local high school game. It's about a whole town coming together and not just on Friday nights. Big cities have lots of different high schools. Covington just has one. So, it's really a big awesome deal in my hometown. Our town will basically close down, block off the streets, and have parades all throughout the year. Including, the high school homecoming parade. It doesn't matter if you have a kid on the team or if you are a local cop, fireman, banker, or farmer. The whole town comes out and gets into it and when some other local event is going on around our town throughout the year, the whole football team will show up and support it. It is really cool to go eat at some of the restaurants around town, too. At my hometown Pizza Hut, the walls are decorated with pictures and newspaper clippings from some of the most memorable CHS sports games and athletes. I know I will probably never be a famous athlete. But, I'm pretty sure that some my hometown's front page newspaper headlines from our last football season will be on the walls of the locker rooms, restaurants, and businesses throughout my hometown for years to come. I will be proud to say that I grew up in this town and was part of that.
  If you smelled something strange when you open the time capsule, then you are smelling the sweet scent of Charger sweat. I play tackle and I put one of my lineman gloves in here. Because, so far the best thing about high school for me has been football. We finished the 2011 season 11-3 and made it to the 4A state semi-finals. I hope I will get to be a starter next year and that we make it all the way to the state championship. It would be so cool to put a state championship ring in here.
  Another reason I will never forget 2011, is all of the floods and tornadoes. In the spring of 2011, parts of Alabama, Missouri, Tennessee, and Oklahoma were destroyed by flooding and tornadoes. Everybody in Tipton county will remember the floods we had. But, as for me, my brother John Paul, and the rest of the FPC youth, we will never forget the destruction we saw left behind by the tornadoes in Alabama. We went to Alabama last summer on our annual church youth group mission trip and helped the tornado victims. Words can't describe what we saw. Whole towns were wiped out by these tornadoes. Every year our church youth group goes on a mission trip. I look forward to it every year and it is always one of the highlights of my summer. This trip was my younger brother John Paul's first mission trip and it was really cool us both being there working together. One of the traditions of church's mission trips is a sack of letters that we each give to each other. I put the sack of letters from my first mission trip in the capsule. These letters remind me of my church family, places we went together, the people we met, and how we changed their lives with the good work we did. When I go back and read these letters, I think about how even though I was just a kid, I really did help change somebody's life by doing God's work. It gets me to thinking about what else God has in store for me. I plan to keep going on the youth mission trips with my church family every summer and when I get older maybe I can travel the world, go to different countries, and do more mission work. I have not decided what else I will do after high school, yet. I know the bible says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV). Man, do I love Jesus! They teach us at church to talk to God, and if you ask him something he will send you an answer in a message. Sometimes when something good or bad happens my momma will say "I think Jesus is trying to tell us something." There is this joke my little brother Jack loves to tell. You may have heard it. It goes like this:
    A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get in, get in!" The religious man replies, " No,I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle."
   Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause "God will grant him a miracle."
  With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down." St. Peter chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter."  
Our God is awesome and I do ask him about my future. He just hasn't answered me yet. When he does, I hope I'm not like that man and too stupid to get the message. One Christmas my  parents gave my brothers and I each a dog tag necklace with our names engraved on one side of them. On the other side they had this Bible verse engraved on it: "But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31. My momma said she picked that verse because, it makes her feel better when she is tired of her job or worried about the future. When I dream about my future and what plans God has for me, I think about that bible verse on that necklace. So, it is the last thing I put in the time capsule.
  In the mean time, while waiting for my message from Jesus, I plan to follow the wise philosophy of a popular country music singer of my era. Just like Jason Aldean sings about, my brothers and I are gonna "lay a lot of memories down like tattoos on this town".
#74 Big Bennett
I cleaned up my mess. Since, I laughed a lot, peed a little, cried a lot, & then I had snot. I didn't dare change a thing & except put a comma or add some quotation marks here & there. When he woke up he could tell I'd been crying & was concerned. I had to get up on my step stool so I could look him in the eye & tell him : "You is smart, you is kind, you is important, & you is blowing my mind"
I watched him as he put that old cigar box in his truck & left for school. I wanted to yell @ him so bad, to please be careful with that old cigar box & don't loose it. Cause, in that raggedy old box, somewhere in between his stinky football glove, a cheap necklace, & a newspaper clipping is a big part of my heart that will always belong to him.

 ~The Pink Butterfly ~

~Survival Tips~Mom Edition~

1. JESUS ~ If you don't have him in your life, then get HIM. If you don't know where to find HIM, then a good place to start is on your knees. I'm not gonna go all Holy roller on you about this. I'll just leave you with this.~ The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. ~ Proverbs 14 :1 NKJV

2. GOOGLE ~ If I could only recommend 1 more survival tip. It would definitely be GOOGLE. I freaking GOOGLE everything. You can find all kinds of info on anything and save yourself time and money. Something, all moms need more of. Seriously, you can search anything like : How far is it to the moon & back? Where to find best prices for anything, find family friendly restaurants in your area, check to see if there are there any registered sex offenders in your neighborhood, or How to get permanent sharpie ink off your antique furniture, homework help, what to feed the baby squirrel your kid brought home, etc... It is absolutely the best tool for anybody. It is always available 24/7. It doesn't require registration, login, username, or password. You don't have to wait for the pediatricians office to open up or for a nurse to return your call. You don't get asked to choose English or Spanish or talk to someone named Peggy (who sounds like she is in Bangladesh and speaks little English.). It is discreet. You won't have to worry about looking or feeling like an idiot @ the pediatricians office for asking so many stupid questions. WARNING: If you are pregnant and you are thinking of devising a birth plan. DO NOT use GOOGLE or the Internet for that purpose. Please discuss formulating a birth plan with your OBGYN &/or healthcare provider. Unless, you want your birth plan to include: a labor as hot and long as the 4th of July in the south, sitting on a exercise ball, trying to push a bowling ball out of your ass, all while your husband is sitting around singing Kumbaya and playing with your nipples with this woman (you found on GOOGLE) who YOU paid good money to help you devise this ridiculous birth plan & then stand over you and make you follow it, pissing off all the nurses, who have the drugs you are now in desperate need of, ending with c-section, then taking home your placenta and making beef jerky out of it.  And, if you think I'm full of Sugar, then Sugar, you can just GOOGLE it. Also, if you or your kids are sick and you are not sure if you are in need of medical attention. For heaven's sake get the heck off of the Internet and go see a doctor.  Now, that being said, it IS acceptable & a good idea to GOOGLE (not stalk) your OBGYN or healthcare provider, or the daycare &/or babysitter that you are considering using, or that dipshitiot psychiatrist that refused to give you anymore nerve pills until you had extensive & expensive therapy to get to the root of your issues. ADDITIONAL WARNING: Only trust information from trusted sites.  If you don't have google on your mobile phone, then get it. There is an app for that. it is also good idea to bookmark common sites or pages you find helpful (Like The Pink Butterfly Blogs).

TO BE CONTINUED...........

~ What Your Nurse Probably Didn't Tell You...~

Warning : These tips are based on my 15+ years experience as a Antepartum, Labor & Delivery, Mother/Baby Postpartum, Newborn Nurse, & Childbirth Class Instructor. You should consult your Physician, OBGYN, &/or Pediatrician for actual medical advice.

~ The Pregnant Pain Scale ~

The "Pain Scale" is a tool commonly used by nurses &/or medical personnel to assist in determining your pain &/or pain relief. 

**Example : Nurse asks you: (because you say you are in pain &/or labor) : "On a scale of  0 to 10, 10 being the worst pain imaginable, how would you rate your pain right now?"

*You briefly stop tweeting, updating your facebook status, look up from your cell phone & reply : "Oh, my pain is definitely a 10. When can I have something to eat or drink? I need some more ice chips & can you get my baby daddy a pillow too?"

At this point your nurse probably kept her superhero like sarcastic tongue & thoughts to herself & instead rephrased the question & gave you one more chance to give an appropriate response. 

An example of what your nurse might have said : "So, are you sure your pain is a 10? Cause, a 10 is like me cutting you right now." Now, you might be thinking:

However, to the nurses defense, we are instructed to believe you & treat you accordingly when you say your pain is a 10.

Disregarding any gleeful nonverbal cues & or activities that might give the appearance that you are otherwise comfortable. But, we as nurses are then conflicted. Because we are instructed to use the pain scale as well & According to the trusty pain scale below, smiling stops somewhere around 4.

So, if you are still smiling and still insist your pain is a 10, then you now can add confusion to your list of ailments as well. Unless by chance, you have had some facial alterations, plastic surgery, &/or botox; rendering you incapable of any expression other than smiling. 

Therefore, unable to make the appropriate facial expressions associated with pain & or discomfort (see #'s 4-10 on pain scale). Furthermore, giving the nonverbal impression that you are otherwise comfortable & NOT in the worst pain ever (#10 on the pain scale).

 So, in other words here's WHAT YOUR NURSE PROBABLY DIDN'T TELL YOU : "You are NOT smiling when your pain is a 10 (unless your face is jacked up). You are NOT physically or mentally capable of updating your facebook status &/or using a cell phone (unless you are attempting to obtain drugs by attempting to contact your baby daddy, or the late Micheal Jackson's recently convicted physician, a large animal Vet, &/or your pimp; in an attempt to obtain large quantities of narcotics in dosages large enough to jack up a celebrity, rock star, &/or crackhead &/or put down a large animal such as a race horse, elephant, or Shamu. Because, if your labor pain is a 10, then approximately every 3-5 minutes your facial expression will resemble a similar expression to that of Jackass Celebrity 

Johnny Knoxville when an alligator bites his nipple off; then, at this point I would agree your pain is POSSIBLY the worst ever (#10 on the pain scale) & if you happen to resemble anything like Linda Blair

 in "The Exorcist"; then Sugar, you are in luck. Because, your labor is probably almost over." 

~Labor & Delivery"

The good, the bad, & the bloody

You may have heard you will experience heavy vaginal bleeding after delivering your baby. What you probably didn't hear is that you may see what YOU think is a lot or too much blood during labor, delivery, & the immediate recovery/postpartum stages. Most of the time this is normal. Delivering babies is a pretty bloody business. IN OTHER WORDS : You, your room, bed, & bathroom may look like a bad crime scene @ times. It is recommended you wear the "one size fits all, fashionable, boy cut, fishnet, hospital provided panties". Because, it is unlikely your panties will accommodate the rather large pad/diaper & possible ice pack your kind nurse will apply to your ever so swollen & sore lady parts. No, your nurse is not making you wear these as punishment for acting a fool during delivery. But, she is recommending you wear them to prevent the unnecessary "crime scene clean up" (that your nurse will have to do) following your attempt to look cute &/or sexy by avoiding to wear the hospital provided pads & panties.

~ Is That What You Had Said ? ~

~Bottles and Boobs ~

Warning : These tips are based on my 15+ years experience as a Antepartum, Labor & Delivery, Mother/Baby Postpartum, Newborn Nurse, & Childbirth Class Instructor. You should consult your Physician, OBGYN, &/or Pediatrician for actual medical advice.
                     

               Got Milk?

~It has been said "Breast Is Best" for feeding your newborn baby. However, it IS a choice. I personally recommend breastfeeding & I did breastfeed all 3 of my children. However, as a nurse & a mother, I realize it is not the right choice for everybody & I DO NOT judge mothers who choose to formula/bottle feed. I DO, however support my patients & their decision to breast or bottle feed. The breast may be the best, but it is not the best for everybody. IN OTHER WORDS : Home grown vegetables might be the best for me. But, store bought vegetables might be the best for you. Like many of the nurses & pediatricians I have had the pleasure to work with,  I DO NOT personally care how you feed your kid. As long as you feed your kid & feed your kid enough!

Tip : Fix your newborn baby a fresh new bottle for each feeding. In other words : If you pour yourself a glass of milk in the morning, take a few sips, & place it on the counter; would you return hours later & pick up this same glass of milk & continue drinking it? Probably not, you would probably fix yourself a new glass of milk since that one has been sitting out for some time. SO PLEASE DO THE SAME FOR YOUR BABY!!! Your baby's nurse & your baby thank you!

~Wednesdays Word On The Street~

~Pocketbook~ Webster's Version

Pocketbook  noun 1 : PURSE; also : HANDBAG :  a flat typically leather folding case for money or personal papers that can be carried in a pocket or handbag 2 : financial resources adjective : relating to money

~ Example of the proper use of the word Pocketbook ~

~She keeps a weapon in her pocketbook.

~Slang Version~

~Pocketbook : a commonly used slang term &/or nickname for female genitalia or vagina.

~Example of slang use of the word Pocketbook~

~ When asked where her pain was, the pregnant woman replied :

"down in my pocketbook ".

~Survival Tips~L&D RN Edition~

~ CHECK BACK LATER, THIS POSTING IS STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION, TO BE CONTINUED......

There's "Plenty" more where that came from...

I have had a lot of positive feedback from my first blog post "The Middle". I appreciate the compliments, reassurances, & the boost of confidence. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that feels out of place from time to time & can't always tell her kids baby pics apart. If that example of my unstable mental state &/or style of parenting left you feeling better about yourself &/or concerned for my boy's well being, not to worry. There's plenty more where that came from. I'm sure if you don't loose interest & you continue to read this blog you will get another glimpse into my head & the crazy stuff that's in there. As for my boy's, if @ some point in their lives they require therapy, maybe the therapist can read my blog to get some kind of understanding of what he or she is dealing with. But, as Scarlett O'Hara would say "I can't think about that today. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow." No, Scarlett was not  procrastinating. She just had "plenty" of other things to worry about that day & that's one of the reasons I can relate & LOVE her. Poor Scarlett, so misunderstood. All the other women & girls thought she was such a man stealing & man-eating witch. But, bless her heart, she was just trying to survive, support her family, & save the family farm. Unfortunately, we have been faced with similar troubles. It's little consolation that there are "plenty" of other families all over our great country in the same boat. Just trying to recuperate from Christmas, I think everybody is feeling a little strain right now. But, I'm not complaining (maybe whining a little). Because, we have "plenty" of other things to be grateful for here @ our house. The boys are all healthy & growing. That, I'm thankful for. However, healthy boys have healthy appetites & will eat you out of house & home. Lets just say I get to spend "plenty" of time & money @ the local Walmart & Kroger in attempt to keep "plenty" of food in our house & then when I do have "plenty" of food, I have to make sure it lasts. BigB's idea of a "snack" is big mixing bowl full of cereal (basically a whole box of cereal & half gallon of milk). & don't let the name "Little Bennett" fool you. Cause, little does NOT describe the portions on his plate & he's the first to the table & the last to get up & it's not because he eats slow. MB doesn't  take his lunch to school anymore (he's in middle school & he's too cool for school anyway). Which, is great for me. Cause, I hate to pack lunches. But, LB takes a packed lunch EVERY single day. But, MB will come home starving & he will eat ALL of the lunch box snacks that I buy for LB. & He's good, he's sneaky. You don't even realize he's been into them until the morning when you get a box of empty Little Debbie's out of the pantry. Yes, he will put an empty box back on the shelf! He will hide the wrappers on the other side of his bed, in the couch cushions, & anywhere else & Yes, I should beat him for this. I have run out of places to hide & stash the school & lunch box snacks. For Christmas my sis gave me this really cute polka dotted rolling cooler (for me to keep MY adult beverages in @ the lake in the summer). I have been using it to hide LB's lunchbox & school lunch snack stash since school started back after Christmas. It's been was working out great. But, the boys have caught me a time or two getting "something" out of my new cooler in the garage in the mornings. I was hoping they were still a little sleepy headed & would forget about it. But BigB has been on to me & I have been getting a strange vibe from him. After BigB caught me in the cooler in the garage 2 mornings in a row this week, I had to come clean. Just like any proper southern woman, I didn't want him thinking his momma was getting her drunk on before lunch. (at least not on a school day). I begged him not to tell MB. At least, not until I had a chance to move my stash. Bless his heart, he didn't mind keeping my secret. I think he was just relieved I wasn't getting "into the grape juice" @ 7am.  So today while  doing "plenty" of laundry, I have been trying to figure out where to stash LB's lunch box snacks. Anyway, I'm grateful it's Thursday.Cause tomorrow is payday. I can go get "plenty" more groceries to stash somewhere else other than my cute new cooler in the garage. & I'm grateful the B's had a successful hunting season. Cause, I have "plenty" of deer antlers on my walls & "plenty" of deer meat in the freezer. Guess, Jesus knew we were gonna need it. Gonna fry some up for my B's tonight. & another thanks to my christian fb friend. She had this as her status yesterday. Thought it was perfect for me today.


"And this same God who takes care of me will supply all of your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:19, NLT

"The Middle"

I love all kinds of movies & movie quotes. One of my favorite movies, Hope Floats(1998), has some of my favorite quotes. Birdee Pruitt (Sandra Bullock) says "Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most." This struck a cord with me the first time I heard it & I have used it & shared it with others many times. I thought it would be perfect to use for the beginning of my blog, beginning the new year. Like every new year, the new year brings "new" things & people make "New Years Resolutions". Most are focused on getting healthy & they begin new diets, start working out, join the gym, quit smoking, etc.... All of these are great. But, we all know how they usually end. I know whenever I make resolutions like that I rarely ever get started. This year I made some resolutions & one of them was to "document" more. Every since the birth of LB (Lil Bennett) & the birth of the digital age, I have failed to keep up with the family photo albums. Unlike my OBSESSIVELY organized sister (whom I adore), I have "clutter issues". In fact, I am embarrassed to admit it. But, my side of the bedroom looks like an episode of A&E Hoarders. To my defense, I get it honestly. Both my biological mother & my paternal grandmother (BeBe) were "closet clutter bugs". Both their houses would "appear" spotless. But, inside every drawer looked like a "junk drawer" & you better be prepared to duck & cover if you opened up a closet. Because, no telling what might fall out. Anyway, I have TONS of pictures stored in various places (boxes under the bed, closets, drawers, discs, sd cards, on my phone, on old phones, facebook, Shutterfly, lost in space, etc....). Among many of my other unfinished projects is of course unfinished scrapbooks. In attempt to make myself feel better about all of this I always tell myself : "Self, you will have plenty of time to finish these when the boys are grown & gone." But, when I come across a stashed photo or thumb through an old album I realize how much I have forgotten. I have to struggle to remember WHEN or WHO was is in pictures. Thank goodness I let LB keep that pacifier in his mouth 24/7 until he was 6 or so. Because, that's the only way I can tell him & MB (Middle Bennett) apart in their baby pics. I realize how horrible this sounds & trust me I feel horribly guilty about it (the pacifier, the inability to tell my babies apart, & the way I refer to them by their birth order, size, or nicknames). These are just a couple examples of my poor parenting skills that keep me in the running for "Mommy of the Year" consecutively every year since 1995 (sarcasm). Realizing how unrealistic it would be for me to begin to finish them now, I decided to begin to keep a journal (document) instead. In hopes that one day, I can remember these days & go back & finish those scrapbooks & albums. Plus, I have always wanted to keep a journal. Like many other things, I just never got around to it. This past year I became intrigued by this "blogging" business. Something, I know little about. Like many others in my community I began to follow a local young mom's blog. Faced with any parents worst nightmare, her raw honesty really put things into perspective. While keeping up with her blog, I noticed how many other younger mothers were blogging & keeping up an online scrapbook. I was immediately jealous! Just like I am jealous of those moms who seem to have it all together. Who, unlike me, despite the 110 degree humidity somehow manage to look cute in the mornings & afternoons in the school car line, or @ the ball field, pool, or lake. Asking yourself what happened to me reading that blog & putting things into perspective? Well, I'm not perfect & although I may put things in perspective. They usually don't stay there. That being said, I wanted a blog too. So, here I am. So, if you are still reading & wondering what does any of that have to do with "The Middle" or the Hope Floats quote? Well, like many of my ideas, they start to take a life of their own. I started with that quote, thinking this would be the "beginning" of something. But, then I realized, although I am "beginning" a blog, I am NOT in the "beginning". I am really somewhere in "The Middle". I am a "middle"class, "middle"aged woman & I am ALWAYS in the "middle" of  SOMETHING. As a mom, I am gifted @ multitasking. Sometimes, I am in the "middle" of many things @ once. Sometimes in the middle of the night, or @ any other given time, I am in the middle of a shift, while in the middle of a package of cookies, project, drama, a crisis, game, book, movie, &/or my lunch.......Currently, I'm in the middle of helping MB finish his science fair project & finishing this blog. While, thinking about all the other things that I'm in the "middle" of that I could or should be doing. I have always believed that Hope Floats quote to be true. But now, I'm pondering...Does "The Middle" count the most?  What in the"middle" counts the most? Is it what you DO in the "middle" that counts the most? If so, I'm screwed. Because, I have done some things in my "middle" that I'm not very proud of. If I jack up my "middle", does that mean I've jacked up my "ending" too? If the "beginning" &/or "middle" sucks does that mean the "ending" will suck? And, If this is my "middle" does that make it my boys "beginning"? & By jacking up my "middle" have I jacked up their "beginning"?  If by jacking up my "middle", therefore jacking up their "beginning" have I jacked up their "middle" too? If I AM in "The Middle", why is it so scary? She said "Beginnings" are scary. Does the "middle" have a "beginning" or "ending"? If so, am I in the "beginning", "middle" or "ending" of my "middle" ? If I am in the "middle" then my "middle" is not what I thought it would be. I thought we would be more financially stable, I thought we would have the upstairs finished, I thought I would be working less, I thought I would have this baby weight off, I thought Brad Pitt would have returned my calls by now, I thought we would be one big happy family, I thought I would finally have it all together! If I can't get my life all together by "the middle" how will I get it together before "the ending"? Just like so many of my projects, I am not finished yet! & Why are so many of my favorite people missing from my "middle"? Do they even want to have a friend or loved one that is in the "middle" of figuring out where she is? Will they be there in the "ending" ? & Why can't Harry Connick Jr come & rescue me in my "middle" ?! & If Snooky, the Kardashian's or any other non talented idiot can can have a reality T.V. show & become successful, rich & famous. Why can't I? Where's my reality T.V. show? This all leads me to panic. I DON'T belong in the "middle"!! I'm NOT ready to be in "the middle"!! Don't get me wrong. I'm ok with the "middle" aged part (Not, because I've come to peace with my age. But, just like many other aspects of my life I'm simply in denial about it.). I briefly consoled myself after looking up the definition of the "middle" & found it said the point or position at an equal distance from the sides , edges, or ends of something. HA, I'm really NOT in the "middle" I am really on "the edge"!! Therefore, since I don't belong in "the middle" then where do I belong? At this point, you are probably thinking therapy or better yet, a straight jacket. I mean, here I am, in the "middle" of what was supposed to be a cute little blog/scrapbook for me to document our lives & memories & so far all I've been able to document is my insanity. So now, not knowing where I am, I ask myself : "Where do I go from here?" & then Jesus answered me. Not directly, but through a christian fb friend who put this Bible verse as her fb status today :

~"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." ~ Philippians 1:6, NLT~

Whew! Thanks Jesus! & thanks christian fb friend! 

So even though, I may not be where I want or think I am supposed to be. I will put my trust in HIM! 

***Saint Theresa's Prayer***

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let his presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to Sing, Dance, Praise, & Love.

It is there for each & every one of us.

Amen Sister Theresa & Yay me, I finished my first blog & have kept my New Year's resolution to thank HIM every day.....